Back to work tomorrow...

Oh tomorrow is my first day back to work after 2 weeks of medical leave from pox and I am just not looking forward to it... Maybe it has been too many days since I last worked plus there is this hanging issue of my proficiency testing and there are a number of other reasons too... In a nutshell, I am just not looking forward.

For some reason, I am just not so accustomed to handling concerns from people. Whether they mean it or not, I just don't like them and in a way baffled by them... Well, shower me with your concern and you see me knit my brows, especially if you do that after I am back to work. Sometimes, people don't need concern packaged in this way, no matter genuine or not.

Due to my suspicious nature and the character of some of my colleagues, I wonder what had been brewing while I was away... And some of them are not exactly the loveliest people to deal with. So tomorrow, I got to play it by the ear and hope that all things go well...

The worst of it all is that, after being away for so long, I just feel like dumping the letter. The feeling had become so intense that I feel like as though if I don't do it, it will be a waste hahaha. But sometimes come to think about it, a holiday is not interesting is there is no end to it. And I am not overworked but just being plain lazy ;-)

I guessed all these thoughts and feelings I am experiencing now is because I am nervous??? Or maybe it is because I just dread it all??? Mix of both is the best answer that I can come up with... Arhh... I am so tired of it all... Sadzzz...

Given in to temptation... Hahaha...

Well, umm, in a moment of weakness, I given in to my temptation of getting a new stash of Ruffles, Sour Cream flavoured. And the worst of all, is that, I ate about 30 pieces of it by this time of the entry hahaha;-) Another thing, I ate about 30 pieces of M&Ms too...

Hahaha but luckily I drank quite abit of fluids. Though the strong taste left my GI with some problem digesting and adjusting but at least it is coping. But I still cannot fully appreciate the strong taste it left in my mouth and esophagus... Felt as though it had eroded part of them when the snacks went down into my stomach.

One good thing is that I had started to appreciate plain boiled veggies with my 2 spoons of plain old rice;-) For some reason, I can't really tolerate rice nowadays and I can take that much each time. I guess, my tastebuds are sharper now, so perhaps I find the rice my mum uses now is too sweet. By the way, one unexpected change with my preference in food, is that I don't really appreciate bitter gourd soup any more. It used to be one of my favourite soup hahaha;-)

Appreciating boiled veggies with plain rice will definitely make cooking my lunch easier for my mum. But if she decided to cook soup, it will be a little challenging for me. Well, she likes to cook them overnight so the soup will be thick and layered. I guess my tastebuds will be having a "culture shock" from it but it will be one of the essential things to help my tastebuds and GI to get use to normal food.

But judging from how my GI hd benefited from this current diet, I guess I should still stick to it. Though it will be a hassle when I dine outside but health is more important ;-) Looking at how fast I give in to cravings and temptations, I wonder how long can it last hahaha :-D

Irrirtating bank...

Finally some light had been shedded on this fraud case... Well, one of the charges had been posted and one had been dropped, while the other is still hanging in the air... But what had irritated me greatly was that there had actually been more than 1 merchant and more than the amount of transactions released to me initially. Why had they flagged 2 of them which are later in transaction date than the 1st dispute charge and from the same country??? And they actually put in record that I am uncontactable to confirm the charges so they processed it. Well, they didn't even attempt to contact me until about 10 hours later and I had picked up the call at their 1st attempt. The information that they are giving me is crap and useless, since each different person give me different pieces.

So the current status now is that I had requested the bank for the dispute charge form on the transaction which had been posted. And I still have to wait for another week before the charge hanging in the air will be posted or dropped. This whole thing is really silly and upsetting, especially with the attitude of the bank or rather say the attitude of the customer service officers. Most probably I will close this account or not use it as my primary account after this episode. One confirmed action though is that I will definitely cancel all my cards with them except my ATM card.

Now I am thinking which bank should I trust next??? Perhaps I should rely on my secondary account and change it to my primary. Anyway, my secondary bank account had started to gain my trust again so I guess I will change my salary banking account to it as a 1st step.

Or maybe I should start considering other banks to widen my options... Umm... I think I have the right person to ask hahaha ;-)

Tired tired tired...

Though my pox were long gone except for the marks and scars, I am still very lethargic... Wonder when will I be back in shape... Seems like I will continue to lose weight until I can be back to a normal diet... My lunch and dinner is plain white porridge with preserved veggie again...

And overall though I am still pretty upset and depressed about all the stuff that had happened to me, at least I had got people whom I can pour part or all on;-) Thanks for being there and making the effort to contact me though you guys are busy and full of your own worries. Especially YY, thanks for listening to my rantings and providing me with a clear and good view on some issues.

I guess by the time I am back to work, most of the issues that are distracting and disrupting me at the moment will more or less be resolved. Hopefully all things will be resolved in a timely fashion and in a good way. Well, good way is not the right description but guess I am in denial of the worst that can happen and praying hard that it does not happen. Perhaps after all had been resolved, I will share more on them with all of you. For now, I am still keeping it within 3 people, excluding those involved.

In a nutshell, I am just so tired and depressed... Sign...

Renovations and my recovery

Bad news... My neighbour directly above me is renovating their flat and the first thing that they do is of course to hack up the floor. And for the entire morning, even up till now as I am writing this blog, they are still hacking away.

But at least this contractor was great by informing us that the renovations are starting and we have to endure with the noises especially they are hacking up the floor. He reminded us that if we discovered cracked or flaking ceilings, we should inform him asap. Not many contractors had the courtesy, politeness to inform and offer help to people. Though I appreciated it but the drilling is driving me crazy!

Finally, after my last dose of anti-viral medication this evening, I will be free from oral medication! Yeah! Though I still need to apply my anti-bacteria cream and calamine lotion on some spots but it is still better than having to swallow 10 to 20 tabs of medication a day. And thank God there are no complications except for infection at some areas so I will be ready for work with no worries by next Monday :-)

For the time being, though I am driven crazy by the renovations, guessed I still got to be at home. I am still not well enough to stay out for long hours... From my experience yesterday, 2 hours is the most comfortable and 3 hours top. By than I will be showing signs of tiredness and stress. And the symptoms of my allergy or sensitivity will creep out too.

And I just went to weigh myself again before I stepped in to write this entry... I dropped another kilogram!!! Arh... I suspect the weighing machine in my home is faulty. I don't normally have the habit of weighing myself but this pox thing had bored me to tears and at least it became one of my things on my to-do list every few days. To recored, one exact week since the confirmed diagnosis of chicken pox, I had lost a freaking 2.5kg!!!

But the losing of weight is also telling me another thing apart from the fact that pox is powerful. My life style before pox is quite unhealthy. My diet itself didn't consist of much plain water though fluid intake is ok, considering that I am a cantonese and soup is a staple. Basically, I cleared a can of soft drink every two days or sometimes one per day and I don't really restrict myself to junk food intake. Plus my fibre intake is not really sufficient too. And my tastebuds are more tuned to strong tastes. All in all, I am taking in chunks of unhealthy stuff and adding strain to my already not very good GI system.

According to some teachings of the Chinese, there are basically alot of food stuff that cannot be taken during and after pox for a period of time. Therefore, my losing of weight is because of the pox, lost of appetite due to medication and the change of my diet. Guess I should more or less control my diet even after I am sprang from the pox stringent diet. Hahaha... Less soft drinks, chips and fast food. Considering that I cannot take up vigorous or strenous exercise regime, it is good that I am motivated to change my diet so that I won't get fat when my metabolism declines and my weak GI will be better with less junk;-)

Wow. I have no intentions to write much but seems like things just sort of poured out hahaha. I guess I shall not bored you guys anymore. See you when I see you :-)

Don't understand...

Well, I am definitely baffled at why they came to say the same things at the same time... Haiz...

And I also don't understand why some people like to step into other people business... In fact not only step into, but seems to be excited, happy or in a nutshell, high... Dishing out comments, solutions and stuff like that when they were not invited or asked to do so... Or maybe love struck people tends to want people to be like them??? Haiz... I really don't want to handle such emotional people as trying to rationalise with them will anger me. Certain issues need a 3rd party to help out but certainly not this one.

Well, honestly, I am glad that they do not know of my past relationships or potentials, else I guess it will be very stressful. But this round, there is no avoiding as these people are all in the same circle and it is just almost impossible to keep things mum :-( I guess I should stop sharing about my other friends, outside of this circle with them or rather one of them. At least, I can have moments of peace and let a relationship develop quietly if there is a chance in the future.

Luckily, there are still 2 of them whom are just great. Thanks YY for just hearing me ramble and laugh at it. And KK, thanks for understanding how both parties felt in this scenario and for cracking jokes to help me laugh. But I am still pretty upset over the whole thing despite the understanding and support you guys had given. I suppose having too many at one shot is just really draining.

Maybe I should just hurdle in my own world for awhile and limit my interaction with this circle. Too tired and drained... Perhaps I should say this chicken pox happened in good time... Let me have peace and a chance to regain my balance.

Can these people understand that I simply need my space and time to recover??? Trying to push at the wrong time will simply cause rebound.

Why did You deal me such a bad hand???

Haiz... As a Chinese saying goes, bad things come in three... Well, this had definitely happened to me arh!!!

First if all is my episode of chicken pox. Had high fever for 4 days before it finally broke, for details, refer to my earlier entry. By the way, I just came back from the Doc with another supply of 20 tabs of anti-viral drug, one bottle of gentamicin cream for the inflammed areas, one bottle of steriod cream for eczema, which, started at the back of my knee and 10 tabs of anti-histamine for my cute little nose.


Second, one of my card was involved in a fraud case which happened in France. The transaction was highlighted and verified if it indeed was made with my authorisation. But it was too late anyway as the transaction was already processed and now I have to wait till the merchant claim the money from the bank before I can formally put in my request of dispute charges and file a police report.

Last but not least, the all time favourites, family issues. This issue is pretty tangled up at the moment. If things go well, nothing will happen, else it will be an all hell break loose scenario which will cause big changes in my family. At this stage, I don't really want to talk much about it as it is pretty messy. But it is taking up a big chunk of my mind and heart. Seriously, I am pretty upset and angry over it. The person whom is the source of all the problems had been repeating this problem for many many years and this is why I am so upset. Anger stemmed from the fact that this person listed death as one of the choices. This is one of the most irresponsible and cowardly manner of handling things. And speaking to this person literally make me vomit blood. Well, seriously, I gave up on this situation. If death is going to be the choice made, than let it be. There is a narrow and difficult path but if the choice is to bail out using death, than let it be.

Haiz... Bad things had been happening to people around me and now finally it is my turn... Well, just say that I know bad things will soon fall on me but I didn't expect it to be these much and intense. These are going to be lessons well learnt, no matter what the outcome will be.

And now, I got another "issue" on hand to settle. Well, at least I can ask for some time to think about it. Perhaps can follow the tradition of White Valentines ;-) Which means, he got to wait for about a month before I reply hahaha...

Valentine's Day Flowers

Here are the pictures of the bouquets... Sorry for the funny background as I was too tired and drowsy from the medication to find a better location and lighting condition to take the pictures...

Chicken Pox days...

Finally I feel well enough to blog about my encounter with chicken pox. Phew! The last few days were like a blur, with special thanks to the fever that I was having.


It started on Saturday before I went out with Mas and JY. I noticed a little pimple-like bump smack in the middle of my back. Though I don't tend to get pimples at that area, I brushed it off thinking that it may be due to the fact that I was ill for a few days. There was no fever, just a block nose, which is becoming part of my life anyway. Sunday morning, I started to feel a little under weather. By late afternoon, it became apparent that I was having a fever and bad headache. Finally, the temperature shot up to 39 in the evening and not only was I having a headache, lumps started to develop on my lymph nodes along my neck and rashes developed. That was when I gave up and text my colleagues that I won't be coming in to work on Monday. They were pretty concerned and asked if it will be better to go to A & E, which, is not a good option, especially at the end of CNY holidays.


I tossed around in the night, sleeping restlessly, went through 2 cycle of shivering and heating up before the fever broke for awhile in the morning. I thought it was just a bad viral infection and it would soon be over... When I was getting dressed to go to the clinic, I notice more pimple like bumps on my back and one "pimple" I accidentally broke on Sat night was all red and swollen! Then I noticed this little bump filled with water on my upper arm. Shacks! I think I got chicken pox... And actually I was thinking about possibility of chicken pox the night before.

My dear GP, Dr Tan, cheerfully diagnosed it as chicken pox and asked if I came in contact with people with pox. My colleague had shingles, which is caused by the same virus as pox so most probably I caught it from her. Hahaha, I was prescribed 50 tabs of anti-viral drug, 20 tabs of paracetamol, 10 tabs of chlorophenamine and one bottle of calamine plus menthol lotion. I had to take 10 tabs of anti-viral drug per day at 4 hours interval and 2 tabs of chlorophenamine per day. For the 1st 3 days, I had to take 2 tabs of paracetamol at 5 hours of intervals. Seriously, I had more medicine than food for the last few days.

Thursday is the turning point when everything became better. The older bumps had subsided to discolouration and the vesicles are dried. The newer ones had reduced in size and most importantly, the fever broke! Yes!!! Finally one less medicine to take :-D But the medication and persistant fever had taken it's toll on my body... I lost 1.5kg in 3 days! Wonder how much weight will I lose over the next few days, considering that I still don't have much appetite... Hope I can gain some back after I stop all the medication ;-)

Thursday was the all famous Valentines' Day and big thank you to JY and Mas for giving me the lovely flowers :-D My room fills with the refreshing scent of lilies, sweet smelling roses and brighten with more colour! And the little doggie from JY bouquet is real cute and cuddly though it is a bit small for me;-) JY is a real surprise hahaha... Never had it crossed my mind that he will buy flowers for someone as he is a very practical person. Hey I meant it as a compliment ok ;-)Thanks for keeping me company and cheering me with thoughfulness, this is for both of you... But I feel a little guilty that you guys bought flowers for me on Vday as they are real expensive!

I am looking forward to Saturday which will be the 1st day that I stepped out of the house since I got home from clinic on Monday. And I am looking forward to what surprise Mas had for me. But thinking that I may end up with more medication checked me in place hahaha...The amount of medication really freaked me out. Hope I can get away with scarring as I broke all the 6 water filled vesicles and seems like there are signs of inflammation... I think Dr Tan will "nag" me about it especially one of them is on my face and he specifically warned me about it...

Ok that's all for now... Umm need to rest already... Hope all my inflammation will go down soon...

Movie and Shopping :-D

Unexpectedly, there is a 2nd entry for today!!!

Mas text me for a lunch and free movie deal... Guess our words didn't fall on deaf ears as he decided to have some R & R time... But he was still pretty distracted and hiding his emotions... Hmm... Hope he will take a step back and just let things go for awhile... Due to the stress, he fell sick, hope that he have a speedy recovery... The movie is really crappy, long, no storyline, not much of laughing points despite it is a comedy...

Shopping with JY turn out to be quite fun... This is the 1st time that we went shopping together for a gift, lucky for us, our taste is quite the same hahaha, else we will have a big problem ;-) Surprisingly, being the 3rd day of CNY and a Saturday, there are not much people around in the shopping malls. It was relatively easy to get seats for dinner as well and I had my favourite food: Prawns!!! Yum yum...

Got some inspirations for nana's birthday gift while shopping... But this time round, got more people involved hahaha so decisions might not be reached that early... The process of chossing will be fun though;-)

Very interesting CNY... ... ...

Today is the 3rd day of the CNY and I feel that it's been crappy so far...

For mas, I pray hard for your granny's recovery and do take care of yourself and your family... If you ever need someone to be there, very old line, I am only a phone call away. But anyway, that's how we communicate nowadays. Let nature's take it's course in the healing process... Though we don't know what will be happening next but there is no point in worrying.

For nana, heard that your darling had made you angry again... And he seems inpatient with you as well, from what you said... Hey take things easy ok, now you guys are at the rocky stage, give and take a little and things will be fine... After all, both of you are a couple, don't be too calculative and let some things go... Me as your friend feels very upset and baffled how can you guys be arguing for 1 whole month!

For myself, I got to give myself a pat on my shoulder for purposefully not going to the Dr for more medicine... And I manage to get myself pretty bad cold symptoms which gave me the green light staying home for the CNY :-D Luckily, I don't have any elders in my family so it's fine that I am not doing visiting. In the process, I manage to dodge the favourite questions by my relatives and still get my red packets. It's embarassing that I got the red packets without visiting them though.

Why I am feeling seriously lousy about this CNY, is not because of these stuff which I described above. I have been having more dreams lately... Though I asked for it but I still don't know how to handle it well enough... I guess because some of my recent dreams had very important meaning in my life at the moment so I asked to open up this ability again... Just that I guess it's been a long while since I am in denial of this ability that it's overwhelming when it comes back... Or maybe that too many of them are coming together in a short span of time that makes it worst...

I guess at the moment I am pretty drained by all these things rolling in my head 'cos something is forming but yet I am not grasping it... Or maybe I am in denial of what I see but yet I want to see more... Conflicts of logic and emotions... Hmph... wonder when I will get over it...