Sick... again...

Haiz... got sick again or should I say, did I recover??? ;-)

Started yesterday morning. Started to have some cough and sore throat symptoms. Got a little worst as the day went by. When it was about knock-off time, start to experience low blood pressure symptoms again but no worries, didn't black out;-) packed my things up quickly than rested for awhile before going off but of course I didn't tell my collegaues hahaha... Don't want people to send me home or sms-bomb me while on the way home.

Thought of going to see the Doc yesterday evening but was too tired... Went straight home and slept from 8 plus till 6 this morning. The symptoms were much worst, both the infection and tiredness were so bad that I was practically dragging myself to the bathroom... Finally I gave in and sms my colleagues that I would be seeing a Doc. And as usual, they were pretty concerned and warned that they don't want to see me at work for the day hahaha.

SMW had very kindly inquired if I had fainted again and added that I should not feel embarassed about it. Got to hand it to him... Word of concern became a joke;-) But nevertheless, can understand his thought as I had kept the blackout episode from most of colleagues for 1 day :-) Anyway, got many many inquiries on whether I am fine including my Doc, who questioned about my medical appointments. And he was greatly relieved that my appointment for GM is next Thursday as he was afraid that I might collasped and die in an accident.

Than I nearly asked him for the basic requirements for health conditions to matriculate into local full time university program. But checked myself as he seemed to have many patients waiting. Well, just hope that everything clears up before any medical examinations by the University appointed Docs...

Speaking of Uni, finally, I had the feeling of excitement and anticipation now... After reading the course program, grading system and other miscellaneous stuff, those feelings came back again. But there's still a bit of the "Really?! All for me?" thought amongst it. But overall, things are falling into place and sinking in. Been looking at the practical side of things as well and seems like there is a possibility that things may work out better than I thought, thank God for that :-D

1st concert which I enjoyed and regret... Plus early Monday Blues

Went to Mayday concert on Saturday and it was real good :-D !!! The stage setting is as good or rather better than advertised, the sound quality was not compromised in anyway and the arrangement was fantastic. Haiz regretted not getting tickets that are nearer to the stage... Though I am not a die hard fan but it is a pity not to be able to get closer to them when the stage was built to encourage audience-performer interaction. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself tremendously and it is a great experience when the audience enjoyed it as much ;-)

Felt hard to sleep yesterday after such a high concert but was too lazy to switch on my laptop to write. Guessed it was also hard for me to type my feelings into words at that time too. Read myself silly into the wee hours of the morning to sleep and continued doing so this morning. Sort of calmed down by the afternoon and actually manage to find the energy to deal with my niece and nephew hahaha. Went to the library in the evening and luck's on my side. Managed to get a new book by one of my favourite Japanese author(translated to Chinese) and found a few interesting books ;-)

After such a carefree weekend, I dread the coming week but anticipate it at the same time. Finally going to be rid of something but the next thing is already on it's way and what's worst, the next next next... thing is also lined-up. Anyway, guessed because the decision had been made about the time to leave and that had left me sad in a way. Will be missing my colleagues and the uncertainty of going into something new. But like what I told my mum, it is my responsibility. Even if I made a silly decision, it is my responsibilty to make things right and not grimace or whine. I will have to bear the consequences of my decisions since I made them voluntarily and after careful consideration. Sometimes things may be tough but it is pointless to whine and wonder how well I maybe able to perform if I sticked to Science.

I guessed to sum things up, stepping out of the comfort zone and worries of not being able to perform well because of failing memory due to age(I am 24 while my classmates are 19) checked me. And leaving my colleagues of 2.5 years will leave a void or sadness too... Haiz... so far, guessed the joy of it had not really fall into place yet and the surreal feeling of dream come true is still lingering...

Ok need to go rest soon... Need to get some zzz...

Very very satisfying meal :-D

First, I got to thank my colleagues for being so concern about me. But gradually these concern are becoming a kind of pressure... Especially when it from a whole bunch of them and loads of food... But nevertheless, it is still concern and accepting is all I can do.

Dinner today is real fantastic! Joined YY and Wai Theng for dinner at Sushi Yashimato(hope it is correct) at Somerset area. First time I tried sea urchin(sashimi and cooked version) and it taste wonderful. The taste is closer to shells with a sweetness originating from the freshness of the urchin for sashimi version. Cooked version wise, sweetness lingers but less intense. Overall, the food is excellent and does provide authentic Japanese food. Though it is to the expensive side but you get what you pay for;-) The tea-flavoured rice is really good. May go back there next time to try other varieties.

After dinner, headed to Clarke Quay for a walk and desserts. Manage to get seats at Nectarine after waiting for about 5 to 10 minutes. Got a great time choosing cakes and enjoying them;-) Parfait was light, Choco with coconut lingers, Irish coffee was strong and Black forest was not satisying. Overall, I think the Choco with coconut is a success. To think that for someone like me who dosen't like coconut will actually appreciate and like it, the cake must be of some standard. The liquor cherries of the Black forest was not marinated well enough and the taste is not exactly good. The cherry wine in the mousse of the cake is too light. Only the fragrance of the cherry and a light sweet taste can be tasted:-( The tea selection is not fantastic but good enough. Tried the peony tea but was a little disappointed as the after taste was not good. Though fragrant it may be but the bitter after taste is too strong. Quite like the Pomegranate tea YY ordered and first time I tried a Sarsi-like soft drink which Wai Theng ordered. A pity I can't remember the name but the taste is quite similar to Sarsi except that it is not as sweet.

Over the cakes and tea, we chatted about work, changes in our life and we really had a good time:-) During dinner, it is more of feeling our way around as Wai Theng and I are not that close though we are ex-colleagues. The dessert session was the time when we already had a better idea on communicating with each other and I just got to say that "xiang feng hen wan" hahaha! Haiz it is really so sad that we only got to really start to know each other now and she is leaving for England soon... Not easy to find another person whom can click easily.

This is the 1st time I indulge myself and enjoy myself so tremendously since recovery from chicken pox. Not sure if it is because of happiness or uncertainty... Going to Univerysity to continue my education is like a dream come true. And the problem is I am not sure if am I up to it or rather I can't believe it... Maybe I have been thinking about it for too long and when it finally came true, the feeling of uncertainty and unbelievable sets in... Many questions start sprouting up and suddenly, my old dreams strike me again... Maybe life does have some totally unexpected surprises installed for me as I progress so guess the best bet is just to move along and see what happens.

Ok going to read some stuff and go rest... Need to wake up earlier for my blood test... Else it got to wait till next week...

Trip to polyclinic for referral... N a piece of good news

Finally I moved my butt to Yishun Polyclinic in the afternoon for my referral... There's really not much of people around but the Doc I was assigned to encountered some problems I guessed... The queue did not move for an entire hour and by the closing time, he actually still had 4 more patients while the rest of the Docs had already wrapped up...

Don't worry, I was not the last patient or rather I was not supposed to be the last patient. I was called back after I left the clinic because the Doc decided to alter his referral and add one on-site test. From 1 referral to General Medicine became 2 referrals. 1 to GM and the other to Ortho. On-site test is ESR and he actually ask if I will like to do an ECG... Since I was given the honour of making my choice on the ECG, of course I rather not do it, at least not under that lab.

I will be informed of my appointment at GM in a few days but I think the Ortho side will have to wait till August, unless they determine that my condition is critical or had worsen. The ESR is at my convenience which I will be doing on coming Saturday if I manage to wake up on time... Still got to see a Doc to record my results and make sure that I don't need to go for further screening on autoimmune diseases... Anyway, what had prompted him to do the test despite of remote possibility was that he couldn't feel my veins on my calves and feet.

And because of my complaint about sharp pain on my right calf, I was referred to Ortho in case it was not vascular based problem. Referral to GM was because the symptoms were too vague and widespread to be able to direct to a particular specialist. The list could have gone from Cardiac, ENT, Endocrine to vascular and some others which I cannot remember... So to save the trouble, let the GM clinic screen and decide on the specialist(s) which I should be referred to. Anyway, I guessed by the time they screened me, I might be back to my normal self hahaha...

Enough of the medical stuff... Some of you would have gotten an SMS from me... I got accepted into NTU, Psychology! Still no news from NUS yet and for NTU, I still got about a month to think about it. Wonder should I accept, accept and defer or reject... Hahaha I guessed I will be hit on my head by some of you if I really reject it.

Ok guessed that's all for now... A bit tired from typing... Will share more about some books that I have read or reading next time and most probably will be going shopping again soon hahaha... Must spend more wisely and with more control if I am going back to Uni this coming Aug...

Another trip to Doc...

Pay another visit to the Doc just now... 3 major reasons: 1) Cough and block nose not fully recovered, 2) The pain at my right leg is getting from bad to worst, 3) Fainted this morning.

Ok before you guys start bombing my phone and scold me on the other end of the computer, I am fine and well. The fainting spell is mainly due to sudden drop in blood pressure. Anyway, I am a known low bp case so no worries despite it is my first total black out case. Been experiencing those low bp signs often enough but just that it is must faster and unexpected this morning. The bp as of 1.5hrs ago is 90/70mmHG, low enough but not impossibly low.

Another thing is my right leg. Some of you may have heard my complaints about spider veins and pain after walking for awhile on my right leg. The tightness starts after walking at my normal speed for about 5-10 minutes than the pain starts. Initially I thought I put it on observation first since the flu and poor appetite issue seems more prominent. Last Thursday, while on my way home, I encountered a sharp pain on my right leg which is so bad that I had to limp for a few minutes before it went away. My right leg dosen't seem to be able to keep up with my left if I walk at full speed and the tightness is getting bad.

Due to the 2 above reasons, I was asked to go to a polyclinic to get a refereral for a specialist. Most probably will be getting a vascular specialist to do a check on my leg for arterial blockage or constriction. The low bp, decrease in appetite and lost of weight might also be related to some other underlying problems but it may be a problem by itself hahaha.

Now I am more afraid of the pain of doing the artery test than testing positive for autoimmune or some other vascular diseases. Had never experienced an artery puncture, shunders at the thought of it, considering how bad it is when they need to puncture my vein.

Basically I am still well in a way, just that there are alot of little annoying problems popping up every now and than. Oh YY you are right, apart from health issues, I do have many other issues bothering me, just that blocking them out at the moment seems more comfortable than dealing with them. Perhaps it is time for me to seriously take a break from things and deal with these problems one at a time...

Current book in my bag...

As expected, I am still not well yet... Been feeling tired and sad for some time... Went to hunt for a good book yesterday. Got a book from a genre which I seldom read, fantasy.

So far, the book had been entertaining but heavy. It's not a typical fantasy book, at least to me. But what had attracted a non-fantasy fan to buy this book was a sentence "We only see the world once as a child, the rest is just memory". Basically it's about replacing a human child with a changeling or hobgoblin. The changes which they endured and the journey about finding their past which they had left behind. Not a page-turner but definitely a book that needs to be slowly appreciated and digest.

Been quite interested in stories set between 1900 to 1980. Guessed that's the period where there are alot of changes but yet not too far from current time. Let me know if you got any recommendations set around this era. Thankie ;-)

Feeling down...

I am still feeling down... Don't think it can be solved by buying things or shopping... Guessed it's really time to take a break. Give myself more time to read and pursue things that I am interested...

Apart from unknown reasons that are contributing to my prolong sadness, I missed prayer meeting today... Though the reasons I used to convince myself are consider logical but I still feel upset about it... Haiz...

Was counting the type and amount of antibiotics I had taken for the last few years... And... I feel even more upset hahaha... Just hope that I will get well soon...

More and more medication...

My raspy voice and bouts of cough convinced me to go back to the Doc today... Still no antibiotics but more and more medications. Let me see... Umm... I have cough syrup with bronchodilator added to it, anti-inflammatory drug, anti-allergy drug, mucus-dissolving drug and steroid cream. By the way, the steroid cream is upon my complain of eczema on my leg. But I realised that the eczema comes only when I am down with something... The last was pox and now is flu, wonder if it is becoming a marker for weak immunity.

I think I will have a good night of sleep later, considering the amount of medication. Despite the instructions to take 3 times per day for the cough syrup and mucus-dissolving medication, I am definitely going to take 2 times only... Cannot imagine bringing my medication around, especially when it is liquid.

Haiz... Wonder if I have the energy to go for prayer meet tomorrow... And whether am I willing to put my work down for awhile to go take a break... Been sometime since I took leave, being sick and frustrated at work is not helping :-( Guessed I am a workaholic through and through...

Cough cough...

Basically all symptoms are gone except for cough... The cough is getting from bad to worst... Looks like I will have to pay a visit to the Doc again sometime this week. Back to work tomorrow but I don't have the feeling of long weekend despite being on MC last Friday.

Still pretty stiff and groggy from the long hours of sleep and relax schedule. Don't feel like going back to face the chaos tomorrow... Umm... Sort of bored and tired... Perhaps throwing in the letter might give me some peace and pleasure hahaha... Just don't feel like moving on and dreadfully need a change in environment...

Concussion after medication...

Phew, it's been a long long time since I can sleep for long hours. The best which I could manage recently was about 9 hours straight including 2 waking hours in between. Due to those medications, I was able to sleep almost 12 hours straight with little or no waking hours between. But the down side was that the medication took another 5 hours to wear off after waking up fully. So perhaps you will know why I am still up writing my blog ;-)

Been having fragments of dreams which are bothering me, even in my drug-induced sleep... Hope that I can "see" them more clearly as it had served me well so far. Though some had put fear in me for some days but some had been real helpful, I wonder what will it be this time? Sensed some sort of urgency despite it is not clear. Anyway, all those fragments may not mean anything but it is still pretty bothersome if it had been coming for months and there are still some which I can't get the meaning...

Seems like the infection in my lung should be getting from bad to worst... Considering that I am getting pretty bad pimples on my cheeks, which is a good indication of my respiratory health. But I don't think I dare to hope that it clears up fast. Hahaha I had been eating junk for the whole day. Only had 2 slices of bread, some noodles and some grapes. The rest of the day, I had chocolates and chocolates ;-) And my fluid intake is limited to about 1.5L at the most hahaha.

Ok, I know some people will start to make noise and threaten to force feed me with proper food or some will suggest I seriously need a boyfriend hahaha. Well, rest assured, I need none of those. Guessed what I need is seriously time alone and slowing down of my pace. Like what I had written earlier, there seems to be some kind of depression which I cannot lay my finger on. Perhaps life had been moving along too fast and there are too many things whirling in my small little brain. I had been upset because I don't feel that I have enough time to myself nor am I getting answers to some of my questions. And being inpatient by nature just dosen't help ;-)

Guessed getting sick is a way for my myself to slow down and poisoing myself with junk is a way to "punish" myself in way... Knowing what is not right and doing the right thing is different I guessed. Maybe that's why I often thought of leaving everything behind and moving on. Knowing what I should do and doing the right thing is different. But what is the right thing than???

Getting sick slows my pace down involuntarily but the medication is fuzzing my brain up. Umm... due for my medication and some sleep now... Can't really think nor analyze with a muddle brain...

Scolded by Doctor...

Not been feeling well since last week but it had finally became full blown yesterday. Well, since Sunday, my throat had been giving me problem and by Tuesday, fever and nose problem started. Yesterday, I literally got knocked out after I finished my dinner at 7.30pm. I slept till 6am with 3 breaks of 1 hour each, spreading out between the night. End up, I was still tired after the long sleep and the symptoms were getting from bad to worst.

I thought I will just go and finish my stuff today. And nearly all my colleagues told me that I should get an MC. Ok I must admit that I was getting worst every passing minute. But I just finished an antibiotic course 2 days ago and nursing a poor GI system now... Haiz... My appetite was real bad when I am on antobiotics...

Mas was willing to come down all the way to Yishun for just a short dinner and I must apologise to him... Especially it's his birthday and I forgot all about it... Will be getting a gift and Mas, don't you dare reject it;-) During dinner, Mas also "pushed" me to go and see a doctor. Got an appointment at 9pm and surprisingly it was pretty on time today.

Reviewed my blood test report and proceed to talk about my current problems... So though I am cleared of thyroid and leukemia for the moment, it is still unknown why I am having bouts of mild fever. After my question on pain at my dilated veins area, the new suspect is autoimmune disease. My complain on dilated veins was quite recent and because there are no reasons which can be attributed to the persistent mild fever which comes in bouts so he had listed that as a possibility. If the fever persist after my recovery from the current flu, than guessed I will need to screen for the general autoimmune diseases next.

Towards the end of it, he actually "scolded" me for waiting so long since my flu symptoms started to come and see a doctor. Hahaha... He actually told me to go get an MC next time I take those drowsy medication so that I can take them and rest in peace.

Ok got to go off soon... Many people pushing me to sleep... Looks like I have more Mums than I thought I have... Just let me finish my bread and take my medication after finishing this entry and I will be off... But you won't know if I am still hurdling with a book;-)

My first prayer meet

Today is my first prayer meet at the current church that I am attending. Initially, I thought of putting it aside if nana like to meet for dinner... Than she mentioned that she had work to do so basically the path is clear. No work, no commitments and other reasons for me to walk away so I went. Even when I was approaching the main hall, the thought of turning away was still strong. Eventually, I just decided to give it a try, the worst that could happen was to turn away from prayer meet for awhile.

I am truly glad that I went to the prayer meet. I had been feeling depressed and upset for some time. The last 2 weeks, I had not been sleeping well and my infection is just not clearing up or rather say getting worst. Though the topic today does not really interest me (evangelism) but some verses and words tugged my heartstrings. I just wanted to let my tears flow... Let the words and thoughts which are racing in my mind, that was difficult to form into coherent words, to just flow out like tears. What had really crushed me was a video clip. It shows a father who is about 60 years old, bringing his disabled child, who is about 30 years old, to a triathlon. The child had been paralysed since he was young. At the request of the child, the father who is not in pink of health, brought the child through the process of a full triathlon. He swam with a cord attached to him, pulling his son in a dinghy. He rode on a custom-made bicycle with his son seated in a special seat in front of him. He ran while he pushed his son in a specially designed wheelchair. And they completed the race together. It touched me very much to see a father loved his child so much that he risked his life and went through so much. And all this is because of a promise made by a father who decided to love his child as he is.

At the end of the clip, this verse was shown: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

My tears just couldn't stop flowing after it. I guessed my current state of mind and heart had been given some rest and assurance. Though I still felt a little unbalance emotionally but generally better. Well, we all make decisions everyday. And each decision marks a new start. Facing uncertainty makes people vulnerable in many different ways.

Guessed I should stop here... Hahaha need to get some rest... Been real tired... Sometimes I just wished that I can put everything down and walk away... But life goes on... Haiz...

Impolite colleagues, Part 2

Forgot to add in this analogy about the scenario in my earlier entry...

Imagine you are working at your desk than you walk away for a few minutes. Someone came along and used your desk without asking or informinng you. Than you appeared and saw what's going on. You stood there and waited for the person to finish up and move on quickly. But that person actually expect you to go away and let him/her use your place freely while you got work to do at your desk.

So what are thoughts on it??? Well, I guessed I could have just tell them straight in the face that they are blocking my way and can they move on. But instead I let them go about and get pissed by it. So perhaps you can see that I am sick enough to be not thinking straight hahaha.

Anyway, I think they are thinking that I must be a little crazy or moody or something had happened but none had got to do with them though. Forget it... I am too tired to think of dealing with them.

Very impolite colleagues...

The week started off quite well... Got a seat and manage to doze off for almost the whole train ride :-)

But soon the day deterioted... My throat got worst and the fever was coming in bouts, though not very high temperature... I had no appetite for food and was too tired to even go for a proper break. Than, something happened and pissed me off real badly.

As I was sitting in the clean corner of my lab enjoying my tea and half a bread left from my breakfast, my colleagues decided to make some changes to the arrangement in our lab. The main action area was at the back of my bench. So they basically wanted to move some stuff and accomodate a new cupboard. Up till now, there was nothing wrong and it was for the benefit of everyone, including more space for myself.

But they should have the courtesy to tell me first that they are going to do something around my place and it might take sometime. Well, they didn't really have a plan and by the time they figured what to do with considerable experimentations, I was already very upset. Imagine I was sitting across the lab from them, very clearly waiting for them to clear things up so that I can finish my work which was lying on my bench top! Well, clearly they were too engrossed and didn't realise that they were blocking my way. Before my patience wore out, they seem to be wrapping up. Went back to my bench to try and finish my documentation up but apparently my judgement was wrong. Somehow, they continued with cleaning up and stacking of things on the wall mounted cabinet on my left. Before reaching my bench, I actually got to pcik through things to reach my chair! They were still standing around blocking the way and that was when my lid blew.

I shot them a look and stormed off to another bench with my back to them to work on my paperwork. Perhaps you will say that it is childish behaviour to have leak my anger out. But I am already very very very pissed because I was on the verge of finishing my work to help on another case. And they were doing something which was not important and caused inconvenience to people whom seriously wanted to finish and get on with their work! As colleagues, we got along pretty well and perhaps this was why I was so angry. They didn't even have the decency to ask politely or inform me that they are doing something at my place which will take sometime.

By the time I claimed back my bench, temporarily, it was already passed 1 hour... And during the time I was "waiting", I completed my paperwork and manage to sit around for awhile. Than after that, they realised that they did something which was not right so they tried to rectified the problem. This time, the 2 person standing there finally noticed that I was staring into space and thought that I was feeling very sick. Well, I clarified in a very polite and mild manner that actually I was waiting for them to finish up whatever that they were doing. What I regret not doing was to add that I was afraid that I would get hit on my head by all the things they are moving. So they finally got my hint and left my work area and me to peace. For the rest of the day, I gave them the look as well and got them worried about what had happened. At the end of the day, 2 of them came and asked what happened but I was still too angry to talk to them about it, especially one of them is the "culprit". I know that I will be very angry and say things that I will regret or permanently hurt or working relation ship so I kept quiet...

But I got to admit that they are patient and tolerent with me hahaha... Anyway, seems like it is bacteria infection this round... Shouldn't be too bad even if I delay seeing the Doc for a few more days... Just hope that whatever is growing will not prosper too fast and will not let other on-site good microbes become infectious too...

Well... Umm... Sort of felt better after some prayers and also admitting that I do have my own faults hahaha... Guessed I will stop here... Tired of typing hahaha...

Splurge!!!

Went pedicure and shopping today... The pedicure was ok initially but about 10 minutes after we left the nail parlour, nana mentioned that her little toes seems to have been abraded. That's when I noticed that the base bone of my right big toe was also abraded! We agree that the cream they used is really not good. But personally, I think what is worst is their technique of removing dead skin. The removal of dead skin was not complete and there were still alot of dead skin left at my heel area. Apart from the abrasion mentioned, there is one blue-black mark on the base of my left big toe too. Guessed I won't be going back there for mani or pedicure anymore.

Started our shopping trip at around 4pm. There were quite abit of promotions around but I can't spend as I used to :-( It is harder to get my sizes for apparels and even with the array of promotions and shops at Suntec City, I still have difficulty in finding what I want... But luckily, there was a pair of leather heels which have my size and most importantly, at a good price;-) Patent wedges are still harder to find. I guess I was picky though hahaha. There were peep-hole patent wedges but my eyes are on cover shoes or total open toe.

Nana seems distracted after the pedicure but she attributed it to being sleepy after a short foot massage. But seems like she is more troubled about meeting his friends up and there seems to be other problems too. Perhaps I was wrong but sometimes it is hard to question objectively. After getting my heels, we went to Secret Recipe to sit down for some food stuff and chit chat. Seems like she is pretty fedup about Derrick and being sleepy just dosen't help. Well, though we know what is best but she has her own reasons for insisting on showing her face in front of Derrick.

After she left, I went to La Senza and bougght a whole lot of lingerie hahaha. After that I went to Marina Square for more shopping and dinner. Surprisingly, I manage to get a white shirt from IS which fits! After that, I decided to try my luck at M)phosis. Their S size is still a little big for me but I was too lazy to go Bugis to satisfy my clothes-starved state. Bought a cardigan, 2 tops and a dress hahaha. In the end, I also bought a patent belt from Hypnosis before I head home. Oh ya, in between, I got dinner from Coffee Club. The ever tempting Slipper Lobster Linguinie;-)

Umm... Been a real good time unpacking my stuff and watching tv... A very satisfying weekend;-) Going to bed soon... But before that, got to finish my quiet time and read this addictive book, Only to Deceive...

Fruitful shopping trip yeah!

As promised, I went shopping at Orchard today;-) And I manage to spend money today!!!

Apart from dinner and some snacks from supermarket, I manage to get a bag and lingerie hahaha... Even though I didn't manage to get clothes and shoes but at least I got some stuff that I do need and want;-) And I did go check out Far East for clothes and shoes. I just couldn't find the particular patent wedges that I wanted but they do have the right size! Looks like if I really need to get some shoes, Far East will be a good choice;-) Generally, the heels are stiletto-like, which I try not to buy. Though I only plan to wear it to and fro between home and work place, with my old reliable Everbest shoes at work, but I rather not risk twisting my leg in the morning rush hour. Hopefully I will feel up for some shopping at Bugis... Go check out the shoes and clothes to satisfy myself hahaha...

The bag I bought today was sort of an impulse thing. There's this 15% discount member card for this brand, Tomato Can, which I never used before. Since I was already in Far East, thought I just pop over for some feminine-looking bag. Wow, their fabric choices had expanded and they sell clothes too! Looking around the shop, there were some less feminine-looking bags with synthetic leather as material and motif printed fabrics for handbags. Initially, I was debating between a big shoulder bag or a medium size bag. Since I am already suffering from neck and backaches, thought I should get a small-medium handbag to relieve my tender areas. In the end, their classic fabric with a simple design won me over. I chose a beige one since it was versatile enough to go between dark and light clothes. What was real attractive to me was rather it's size and verstaility of the straps. The strap is of the right length for me to hold comfortably or slung over my shoulder if needed. Size wise, it is just right for my essentials, which includes my wallet, a miscelleanous carry-all pouch, an umbrella, hand cream, lip balm and a book or PSP or NDS Lite ;-) But it is not big enough to hold anymore items except maybe another small bottle of water.

Food stuff wise, Isetan Scotts supermarket is having a Ohanami Fair which sells alot of interesting tidbits. Bought a packet of corn, green tea and squid coated beans. The corn is an exceptional as it is corn itself only with no beans in it;-) It is real addictive when I was trying them out and in the end I got 3 different flavours as there was a promotion as well;-) Before that, got a jumbo box of Hello Panda too hahaha... Seems like food still got most of my attention despite that I can't eat much nowadays;-)

Ok that's all for now. Need to go finish up some stuff before I get to bed. Going for pedicure and more shopping tomorrow;-)

Shopping for small size clothes and shoes

I made a promise to myself that I will go shopping today and I did it!!! Yeah! ;-)

But... I didn't get anything in the end hahaha. Went to Square2 with my mind set on some clothes and shoes which I saw last week. Nearly couldn't find the top I wanted and when I nearly give up, it was placed at the discount racks. Umm... there were some details which I didn't register the last time I looked at it. Decided to go to some other places first and have my dinner before I make a decision. Got around the corner to check shoes and there were no designs that are appealing to me. I didn't even step in to this shop which I previously had my eyes on 3 pairs of shoes but there were no sizes for me.

Went to Waraku to have dinner because my colleague and myself just couldn't decide what to eat. In the end, I guessed my mind was elsewhere because I ordered something which I shouldn't eat... But luckily, it was not too bad and my GI didn't exactly revolt after ingestion ;-) After dinner, I am in a desperate mood hahaha. Went to do some last minute shopping but most shops at Square 2 are closing for the day. I decided to go back to the shoe shop which I avoided but it was already closed for the day and it was only 8.30pm! Haiz... Guessed I am just not "destined" to buy shoes from the shop. Went round to other shops to try but the shoes are either too big or it does not carry the designs I want. Dropped by to try the top I wanted initially and was disappointed to find that it was designed as a tight fitting sort of cardigan. Haiz... I was thinking of something more soft and loose to act as a warmer and cover-up for spags when I am at work...

I guessed maybe it is a signal to me that I shouldn't be spending too much money hahaha. Anyway, will be trying my luck again tomorrow. Asked Florence about recommendations on where to get the real petite adult clothes at cheap and good price ;-) Try to think positively as Mae-Lyn was telling me before we parted ways... Hahaha maybe I will be able to get the stuff over the next few days ;-)

And I realise that the shops are selling clothes at a horrendous price. Imagine a piece of clothing from an online portal cost less than 12 bucks including delivery charges. But these shops are selling like 29 bucks for the exact top! And for a gauze skirt, the difference was close to 3 times the difference. My gosh, no wonder they have little business and no wonder they can survive. With just a sale of few pieces of clothes per day with such profit and only a small shop, I guessed they can break even soon. Umm... seriously, I think I need to get to Hong Kong to buy clothes hahaha.

It's only Wed but I am already drained...

My emotions were real unstable last week and most people whom came into daily contact knew something was off. After the weekend, I thought things were getting better but I was proven wrong...

Well, overall, I had started to become hyper in my emotions. But under the mask, there is still something like depression or tiredness lurking under. Work is not helping as there were 3 urgent cases which I was involved in 2 on Monday, when the engine was not fully started. Got through it with some hiccups but that's not too bad, considering that half of myself was spirited away since morning;-)

What I dread is the disturbance it caused to my plans! The plan was to complete 3 things in this week, which was expected that the whole week will be more or less use up. But the whole of Monday was used up for those urgent cases and half of Tuesday was used up to wrap up loose ends. Thank goodness that I manage to speed up my work and I am more or less on schedule, just a little tight though ;-) I had started my 2nd item and by tomorrow afternoon, hopefully I can start my 3rd item.

Been thinking of going shopping or strolling some place where I am surrounded and yet be alone. Guessed I have not been spending much time alone nowadays. Maybe that's how the draining and depressed feeling came in. Small little things such as tipping over a cup of tea yesterday caused me to feel like crying. Things were just not right and I became upset enough to consume cake! Well, to some people it is comfort food but to me, it is a challenge. Rather it is a challenge to my digestive system. I "tortured" myself and end up feeling half sick till this morning.

And today, I thought of going to shop but I promised one of my colleagues that I will go to dinner. There was an instance that I wanted to just tell that person in the morning that I had something on but well, the thought didn't materialise. Now I seriously regret going for the dinner. The amount and type of food is upsetting my GI system... Haiz... Feeling very bloaded and uneasy. Hopefully, I will be able to shop over the next few days or at least spend sometime with myself. At least I know I won't be tempted to "torture" myself by compromising and eating stuff that I shouldn't. Most importantly, I can recharge :-D

I guess that's about it for now... Too tired in body, mind and soul to continue... Sometimes I just wonder what will happen if I just walk away from all and move elsewhere...