Another book to share... Kill Me by Stephen White

This is my 1st book by this author which features this character, Dr Alan Gregory, a psychologist. When I was reading through it, the first thought which struck me was that if the character is part of the series, why is it not playing a vital part???

Well, seems that I was not paying attention:-) The entire book is not only touching the usual areas 1 can find... Dr Alan Gregory appears infrequently in name but He is everywhere in the book... Pay attention to what you are reading and you will see it...

A glimpse at the story:
This guy is rich, coming to middle age, adventurous and basically attracted to danger, got a nice family n an illegimate child... 1 of his cliques for those dangerous stuff suffered a mishap n ended up in a vegetable state, alive but not kicking... N he suffered an accident as well, though not as badly injured as his friend but got shaken by it badly... He blurted his thoughts about rather dying den suffering in a state of alive but not kicking... End up, he bought an "insurance policy" which allegedly will send someone to kill him once his threhold, the state which he declared that things should end. He actually had doubts about it but still bought it in the end... N that is when the nightmare starts... He was stricken by a disease and he is reaching his threhold...

I was touched by it in many ways... Sometimes I wonder that if I am stricken by a deadly disease with no cure, will I choose mercy killing to end my sufferings when I entered the stage of alive but not kicking??? Or will i continue to struggle because I don't want to disappoint the people around me??? And in the story, there's a part about his son(the illegimate child) and him... How they are vulnerable to each other... How much they want to love and open up to each other but yet they each have hurdles to cross... N finally, how 1 had chose to die for the other in the end in order to continue living... Complicating??? Den read the book;-)

This book can be a light read if you just skim through the surface... The essence of it is between the lines, interpretating the emotions and thoughts that makes it so rich... I had read 1 other book of the same series but my advice is, start with Kill Me.

Ahhhh boss is back!!! N some thoughts about other issues...

SHE IS BACK!!! My nice mood is gone from the very moment I know she is back...

Well, my only consolation to is that I had already made plans to leave next year. Hope she will be surprise by it;-) And I find that repeating this works:

It is not worth it to let someone bad influence your good mood:-D

Hahaha I am getting more n more bored in this job... End yr bonus too attractive to give up, so basically bidding my time n waiting for more crap to happen... Den hopefully my plans for next year will materialise;-) Looking forward to it!

Thinking back, sometimes I wonder if I am just tired of my job or am I tired of Science as a whole??? Am I unwilling to leave my "comfort zone"??? Umm... well, the thought of putting a plug to something which I had been doing for the past 8 yrs (started Pure Science for my Os when I was 15) kept me in checked...

I had the passion for it when I first started it but it sort burn itself away slowly... Perhaps I just wanted to have basic knowledge in the area but not be a master in it... N the reason I kept questioning myself for my passion and willingness to commit, is simply because... I had given up 1 of my so-call talents which I had been developing it for abt 9yrs and done well by it prior to doing Science with more dedication...

I didn't have that much of doubt nor questions when I tuck it away... To be honest, I like it better den what I am doing now! There's this intimacy, this special relationship which I never quite develop with Science... Perhaps as 1 get older, there are more things to consider, more burdens, overall more checkpoints for an idea...

Hey actually, what's the worst thing that can happen when 1 loses something??? 1 gains something else, that's the answer :-D So I guess for now, I will just keep diving into my sea of thoughts and feelings... Hope that I won't get lost or get pressured by the vastness of it...

Continuation of Sad Job...

My boss is coming back next wk... And the chaos start again AHHHHHH!!!!!!! I can't imagine what will be happening next week... I am literally counting down the days to throwing The Letter in her face hahaha;-)

Ok, back to the topic... Most of the time, I feel sad that sometimes, a second crime need to be committed before criminal is apprehended... It leads back to the thoughts "No matter how hard I work, I will never be able to prevent crimes" and "I am always a step behind"... Happen that recently I was sharing with someone about these thoughts. And this person surprised me by asking if I ever thought of not doing Science and the hard punch came after... Ever considering doing Psycology to aid rehab of inmates???

Well, the nature of the second question is not exactly surprising... The punch was a little hard cos when I think about the things going around me recently, all has some form of psycology involved... Firstly, YY is doing a Counselling Dip, I was reading a fiction series written by a psycologist and the Cody McFadyen books I recommended had something to do with it as well and now this question...

Hahaha I end up having a brief lesson on the nature of the work of psycologists in different areas and specifically on the areas which might be of interest to me... Well, I got to thank this person cos I learn something another side of law enforcement... Oh the Yellow Ribbon Project is coming up and I think more information will be flooding my way hahaha...

Come to think of it, another coincidence was that I did think of not pursuing a Science Degree Programme hahaha... Keeping my options open and who knows what I will write in my application form;-) But anyway, Psychology is still a little too "far" for me... Unless something or someone can really spark my interest in it, else, umm... chances are... ... ... ... hahaha:-D

August is almost gone and 4 more mths to go before I get my big fat bonus and the right time for The Letter to her face hahaha;-) but who knows, maybe I might stay and struggle through???

Book to recommend: Shadow Man by Cody McFadyen

Hey this is a book which I highly recommend!!! I first notice his 2nd book, The Face of Death while browsing in a bookstore. After a brief flip-through, perhaps starting with the 1st would be a better choice and it was:-)

Shadow Man being his first book, dosen't seem like a first to me. Much feelings and thoughts were brought across by simple words. The layout of the story and the intensity of words captivated me.T this book had re-ignite my love for browsing and hunting for hard to put down books! For months before, I was not able to find a good read and this book had really satisfy my hunger:-D

Perhaps I will include a summary of the storyline:
Main character of book, Smoky Barrett works for the FBI. She was hot on the trail of a serial killer, who in-turn surprised her in her home, killing her husband and daughter. When she was deciding to live or blow her brains out, her best friend since high school was murdered and this would lead her to series of events that are going to rattle her entire team... Though there are some parts which are sort of expected but overall, the entire book is packed with emotional charge situations and action too!

The second book, The Face of Death, is even better. The story is dark and sometimes, I have to stop myself from reading between the lines and breaking down the characters, for fear that I will sink! Umm I think I will end this entry here... Might be coming back for another entry about work woes:-(

Sad job and some thoughts...

Thinking back about my working life, about the jobs I had been in and the environment I was trained in, everything is so sad... Ok maybe except 1 job, everything is... sad...

My current job exist because someone out there lost something... Could range from losing a life to losing material items... My old job and environment trained in... Umm let's jux say that most of the time we are a little late... Techinques developed are lag behind the development of diseases... To compare, my current job is the "saddest"... Cos no matter how hard I worked, crime still happens right??? At least if I change my scope a little in my previous job and work hard enough, with a little luck, I may succeed in preventing some dieases...

Human mind and heart is like the sea... Deep with unknown depths... Well you may c the sea bed at some point but... the pressure and darkness... umm even with the right equipments, how long can one stay close to it in comfort??? From another view, those are points which make us interesting;-) Sometimes I wonder is there someone who can stay n watch in the deep n dark sea of human thoughts and feelings without getting lost???

Cos sometimes I feel that I got lost in it... But thankfully, my brain switch off often enough to give itself a break and breathing space which help me to find my way back... Have you ever been lost in the sea before???

Long long long time...

It's been 2 mths since I last wrote an entry! Hahaha though I wasn't tat busy wif work till early July but availability of computers makes it hard for me to write;-)

Many things had happened during the last 2 mths... Well, part of those stuff turns me off from touching my laptop at home... Umm, work had started to pick up in early July and coupled with external test program, things will be stretching to late August or early Sept I guess...

1 good thing, finally I come to terms with the fact that my Boss is simply HOPELESS. Many things had happened and some are simply ridiculous... Most of the time, I blew my top though... I was real pissed off with her. Anyway, I am looking forward to next Jan so that I can dump THE LETTER in her face and complete my fantasy of going to her superiors and give her a blow to render her unable to stay hahaha... Another words, I am staying for the money only.

Some plans are coming up for next year... I might be taking a gap year in Europe or States... Might pursue my degree but no decision had been made on which course, keeping my options open except that I am a little tired of Biomedical Sciences... Definitely leaving my job... So everything is still hanging somewhere and high chance is that it will depend on my application to the Uni for a full time position...

It's been about 4 years since I last applied to a full time Uni... Looking back, I guess I had been a little too arrogant... Getting a place and den rejected it... BUT... if I had accepted it and gone through it... The only word to describe: disastrous ;-) life is really funny, just like how humans are unpredictable.

Had been reading a number of books recently and just tried Benefit(makeup) and Clinique(skincare regime).... Though GSS passed, I still have a long list of things which I am thinking of buying... AH!!! Looks like I have to find a good way to limit my spendings... Perhaps the best way is to find a rich husband hahaha... Work stress has been making me fantasing about a rich husband n spending more money;-)

Will be updating you guys on my next entry about captivating books read recently... Been getting buying quite a bit of books recently :-)