Been a very very very long time...

Wow... Been nearly 2 months since I last wrote... Umm guessed I must have been too absorbed in my own world.

Been thinking through about my decision to change path... The initial shock and joy of taking the 1st step faded and I am confronted with more practical issues. From the modules that I wanted to attempt to the amount of effort I wanted to put in to my teaching schedule... Umm... Been looking at too many things and my job had been a little demanding for the last few weeks. Had been handling cases all the way till 4 days before my last day. Many things were left hanging till the very last minute.

One good thing though is that, it had been real fun for the last few weeks;-) Been clearing things at work slowly and joking around with colleagues. They are really a great bunch to work with and they have lent me their cute little listening ears. Really got to thank them for their jokes and encouragement. As a parting gift, they gave me some very memorable but hilarious and practical items. Got to say that their idea is darn good... Those stuff they gave me really speaks of them, these stuff will be serving as a nice and sweet reminder about them. Hahaha looks like I must ask them for some recent photos to pin up after I settle down in my room. Perhaps the next gathering that we have will be great.

Speaking of parting gift... Guessed the best gift that I have will be their friendship, which, many of them had showered me with. Their "keep in contact" are packed with so much sincerity that I am very touched and confident that though we may not be able to meet up often but definitely we won't lost each other.

This week is another kind of busy. Looked through my timetable on Monday morning. After checking through what's needed, it's already about time to go to my workplace to tie up loose ends. Stayed till 9 plus to talk to my colleagues and had a LJS take-away as my dinner. Got to drop by NTU later and meet Nana up for dinner after that. If I wake up early, will have to start cleaning up my room and packed stuff. Else will start packing on wed than meetup with my colleagues to have dinner and catch a movie. Mas had asked if I can meet on wed but my colleagues had already asked earlier last week and now they confirmed it so I can only say sorry... Looks like got to push his meetup till another day... Got a Psy orientation on Thurs afternoon and might be meeting someone on Thurs. Got a HSS orientation on Fri afternoon... Thought of not going to the one on Fri but since they are giving out the matric card, going will be better than not to. I have yet to settle with YY and the rest of the gang about when to meet up for dinner... Ah... Busy busy busy...

Worst scenario will be that I use the Thurs slot to meet YY and the rest of the gang for dinner. Mas will have to wait till Sunday or following week... Speaking of following week, I may already have another dinner date looming ahead... Seems like it will be another busy week, considering I am starting school next week...

Have not decided when I will move in officially to my Hall... Most probably will do it on Sunday before meeting Mas... Looks like I will need to go Daiso to shop later or on Wed to hunt for some cheap little things to help me settle cozily in my 2nd home;-)

Gettig late... Better go sleep... Starting to fall sick again... Looks like the bacteria are not all dead yet... Well, looks like I may need to pay Doc a visit again... Haiz... that makes it 2 visits in less than 2 weeks...

Hello... It has been sometime isn't it ;-)

Hi everyone!!! I am back hahaha... Got to say it's been a long time and here are some updates.

First of all, I had sort of moved out of my hermit state. Though it is still far from how I used to be but it is still a start after all and a good one;-) Guessed talking with people who can understand or rather bother to try, really helped alot... Thanks to ML and KP for listening to my rattering. Hahaha they had been listening to my plans and worries patiently and giving out sensible advice. Though I can't do much for them but I won't mind being the listening party if they ever need one ;-) Will be missing them after leaving or rather say, I will be missing them even before my last day...

There is a change that some of you maybe aware of... The change had caused me some anxiety and self-doubt. Looking back, I am glad that I took up the challenge within a short notice. This change will become part of my life for sometime and having some time to work things out plus get use to it helped tremendously. If I had chose to take it later, perhaps I will be struggling with the workload. Though it had not exactly been smooth sailing but it is still pretty ok and I learnt quite a bit from it too;-)

A friend had left for UK and most probably won't be coming back... Though we had not been especially close or met up often but her decision to leave still brought some emotions... Had a dinner a couple of times between the time I heard that she was leaving and the day she flew off. Had a feeling of what the Chinese say "Xiang feng hen wan"... Though not exactly correct (since we met a few years back) but it was until recently that I realised that we clicked pretty well. Haiz... Hope that we can somehow maintain the contact... Sent her off on Saturday night... Looking at her small built carrying the huge backpack, somehow I felt choke with emotions... Perhaps it is not the closeness that matters but losing the possibility of forging another strong friendship had been miserable...

And some of you may have heard my story on my medical appointments. Went for my 2nd GM appointment to review my condition... As expected, the blood tests were normal. The Doc maintained her view on my condition being a non-cardiac case. But since there were no obvious causes for my weight lost and decreased appetite, I was sent to ENT for a more thorough check on my nose problem. Though it may not be the cause of my weight lost but most probably it will identify the cause for my nose problem. I was given my ENT appointment 2 working days after the GM Doc wrote the referal. Within a week, I was back to TTSH for my ENT appointment. Initially, my case was supposed to be handled by a consultant but due to some issues, I was allocated to a MO instead. Apparently, the consultant was not able to do his clinic rounds and his difficult cases were passed to other consultants. The easier cases were given out to MOs and for unknown reasons, me, being a first-timer was passed to MO too. Well, my experience with this MO was really bad. Apart from being inattentive, she gave me too much anasthetic. For a simple scope of the nose area, I was given 4 puffs of anasethetic to each nostril and end up having my mouth and lips numbed out too. Even with the amount of anasthetic given, I can actually feel the scope hitting something in my nose during the procedure! Like what YY said, luckily I didn't suffer any nose bleeds or significant injuries from it, phew. And at the end of it, she was only able to tell me that the decongestants and anti-histamines may be too strong, hence causing some problems. But she did not explain nor inform me about the probable cause of why this nose problem had happened in the first place... I was prescribed decongestants and anti-histamines because I had problems in the first place... Will be heading back for my appointment in a month's time, definitely will ask for a change of Doc. Spare me from the agony.

Met up with Mas today. Finally got some shopping mood in me hahaha. Saw this cute bag with a print of a cat in a pretty artistic form. Think it will suit one of my colleagues very well, since she is a cat-lover;-) Got it for her since I am buying a bag and T-shirt(similar print) and the discount was quite good. Mas was having a hard time shopping for clothes for his friend's birthday hahaha. Too bad, my taste and his friend's taste is quite different, can't be of much help;-) Went to NTUC to try my luck on getting passion fruit. YY mentioned that Sheng Siong should have it but I was lazy to travel there. Well, the interesting thing is, I couldn't find it in the hypermart at AMK but I found it in a normal NTUC at Sembawang. Not much were left, manage to choose a tray of 5. Perhaps will bring some for my colleague on Wednesday to try... She had been trying to find it since she last tried it.

Hahaha finish nearly 2 packs of the chicken biscuits and the muruku family snack YY brought back from Ipoh. Thanks for taking the trouble to find them and giving me some other food stuff;-) Enjoyed the floral tea from Ipoh and soon will be opening the other pack of floral tea from Vietnam. Bought a pack of white tea to try. So far, I enjoyed the taste pretty much. Will be distributing it out to YY, Celia, WCH to try. May bring a little for some other of my colleagues to try too;-)

Oki. Need to go pack tea for distribution hahaha :-D

Tired tired tired... Hermitiing...

Been lazy again... Been leading a very hermit lifestyle for the last 2 weeks... And I still want to continue this hermitting...

Tired of listening... Been sometime since I reached the saturation point... Well, I guessed instead of asking others to listen to my drawling, I preferred to be left alone in my own world... It's sort of like being at the eye of a cyclone where the calmity is at the centre while everything goes whirling around it.

Many questions, worries and of course uncertainty whirled around while I am standing in the centre of it all... Waiting for things to settle and let the calmity stretched. Hermitting in my own world gave me the peace and rest which I wanted...

Been real tired... Sometimes I wonder how deep is my heart and mind... How much can it hold before overflowing??? Shall continue hermitting...

Slacking...

Not in the mood to blog... Been very lazy and slacking hahaha... Guessd it's just a phase with all the feelings jumbled up.

Same old problems at work... Mixed feelings on leaving in another 2 months time... Uncertainty in starting a new direction in life... Umm... Maybe there's too much so I rather not type them here, else you guys will have a long time scrolling through the words;-)

Speaking of length of entry... Hahaha guessed next time I will have to blog with more pictures... Guessed I won't have that much of time to write like now and a picture speaks a thousand words;-)

Oki... Going to take a break and most probably will go sleep after that... Cya when I cya!

Consultation @ TTSH

As far as I remember, this is the second specialist I visited since young... For unknown reasons, I was given a consultant level specialist at General Medicine. Got to say that she is good, considering that she in twenty minutes, she manage to squeeze in my description of 2 months worth of medical issues and physical examination plus general advice for my current condition.

So far, cardiac is eliminated at the moment for the blackout issue as she felt that the chronic low blood pressure is the cause. Since the condition is chronic and I have already gotten used to the typical symptoms plus it is not alarmingly low, it is not of major concern at least for now. The rest of the problems are pretty vague and actually does not point to anything solid. Weaken immunity is one of the causes and the weight loss maybe thyroid issues. Will be going back for a blood test tomorrow for thyroid and fasting glucose. Oh the glucose is for elimination purpose as my family has diabetes history. So got to have more holes on my arms or hands again...

And if the lab reports does not provide an insight on things, either more tests will be ordered on my next appointment or I will be put on a regime of western version of tonics: vitamins. Some tonic was offered today but I refused as drinking milk powder-like substance is not to my liking;-) Will know if further referral to other clinics will be required in 3 weeks time or in another day or two.

Oh a little tidbit to end my entry. Broke the news to my boss and she seemed quite ok. After that told my colleagues about it and they started plotting reasons to ask me back to work part-time or temp during my breaks hahaha.