Very upset...

Well, to start with, my nose is still giving me problems, which is one of the reasons that is very upsetting. Another was the dinner yesterday...

There was this gathering or belated birthday celebration yesterday. I wasn't really up for it because my nose is a little sensitive to temperature changes and being a rainy day yesterday didn't really help much. The other reason was that there is this guy there who popped the question and there would only be a couple and 2 of us. Though I was aware of it in advance but well, it still smell fishy. I told my friend that I don't think I want to go due to the 2 reasons above but she gave me assurance about the issue on the other guy that there won't be a problem with her boyfriend commenting or pressuring. Since the number of people going is already so small, I guessed it was not very nice of me to cancel last minute.

As the arrangement of the meet up time and location was a little funny, I decided to meet YY for some shopping and chit chat at Suntec. If you are wondering why I commented the meet up way and time was funny, well, if a couple is going to shopping together for clothes and having dinner after that, there isn't any point for me to reach early and shop with them. The best way is for me to join them at the dinner place after they have confirmed. And with the guy joining them, this sounds like a setup. As my decision was to be a little later than the approximate time so that they can settle down, I only sms my friend at 6.05pm that I will be a little late and check if they are already in a restaurant. Well, the reply was that they will go and eat first but there was no mention of which restaurant they were at or whether is it still the same one as she had suggested. And no confirmation whether they were already in a restuarant or still hunting for one. Later she asked me what time I was coming over and I told her that I was nearby and what would be a good time for me to come since I got company. Well, I am not sure if my brain is already so dull with medication or we were just not getting each other's meaning. But I guessed I had asked simple questions with straight answers. Anyway, the reply to my question about the best time to go was another question. And the question was who was I with. Well, what was the importance of the person I was with at that time? Anyway, I answered her with no touch of humor. After that, she replied that it was up to me about the best time to come and added that another couple whom initially was not coming for dinner would be joining us.

That was the time when I took as my cue to join them since they were considered settled. And I told YY that in another few minutes I would have to go. Guessed what? I got a sms from the guy asking me what time am I coming. Hahaha it sound too nice for me to believe that it was a coincidence that not long after I told her about who was I with and this guy drop an sms. At around 6.30pm, my friend told me that the other couple had reached. I was already on my way walking over to the connecting bridge to Marina Square by than. during the short walk of around 10 minutes, I was "bomb" with sms by 3 different people. Well, that was the last straw. By the time the 3rd person sms me about when was I coming, I simply replied that I was on my way and there's no need to sms bomb me and that they could go ahead with dinner without me. From than, I literally dragged myself to walk there, really took my own sweet time so that my anger and temper can simmer.

By the time I reached, any polite apologies with being very late and polite conversation were impossible for me. I just flinged my bag on the chair and sat down, handled some sms with YY and called my mum. I didn't bother with food or drinks because my aim was to show my face and get out ASAP. I didn't care if they were equally upset or angry with me nor did I care if they were concerned. Even if they had all decided it was my own problem, it was none of my business already. Even if they think I should apologise or be more polite etc, it is none of my business already.

Overall, I am simply very upset because I find that I cannot trust my friend anymore. The whole thing smelt of setup. I want to believe that she will not do it but it got harder by the minute, by per sms. And for the guy, I am sure you must had spoken to her about some stuff. Basically, I don't care what you guys had been talking about because it is normal to work on friends of that person you like. But remember your own comments and thoughts about her. It sounds as though you were banking on the fact that she might come telling me somethings which you had told her. Of course I might had been thinking too much. But at the moment, I am way too upset. I just want to put it all down or throw it out into the universe.

Through out this whole thing, I really appreciate YY and KK for listening to my outburst. As mentioned before, both of you had problems of your own to deal with and they are not easy. YY, thanks for being there and making the effort to stay despite you are tired. And KK, thanks for your follow-up call, to listen and cheer me up.

That's all for now... Time for medication.